Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
