His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
