Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
