You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
