Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
