I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
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He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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