yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
