You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize