so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize