I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We named our party play list daddy issues
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
