Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
