I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
