Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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