wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
