maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We named our party play list daddy issues
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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