Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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