We won't sleep together?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
then he tried to convert me to islam
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
