YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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