she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
