how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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