sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize