Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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