That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
