tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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