We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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