Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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