I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
