He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
