Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
