so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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