When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If I die, sorry about rent.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
