one might say we're banned from that church
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
