how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
