We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
