Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
