so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
