Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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