how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
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You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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