um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
