ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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