I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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