Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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