another moral hangover. fuck.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
