A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
All I want is dick and wine.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
try to milk me bitch
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