I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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