Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
