i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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