worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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