The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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