Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
