just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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