yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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