i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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