so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i think i have two assholes
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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