So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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