we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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