I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
