I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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